Windows to hell

Current mood: angry

Argh.
I got a new toy for work. My monitor was dying so I bought a new one.
It wanted a driver, so I clicked to install stuff. Only, little did I know, I mistakenly clicked to install the Windows Updates. I hate you Windows Updates. You have raped my system. Now my email is f*cked up. I can't go to "add/remove programs" to get rid of you. You can't find rundll32.exe. It won't work. Everything is f*cked up. I hate you Windows Updates. You sneaky scamming bitch. Why do you have updates that f*ck up my system?
And, to make it even more fun, my computer, made in the stone age, doesn't have a good enough graphics card to display the proper resoloution on my beautiful new monitor. What this means if you are computer illiterate and don't understand it is that looking at my monitor makes my eyes bleed. I need a new graphics card. I don't even know where to begin right now.
F*ck you work computer.. F*ck you very much. I'm going home.