Hi.
I'm a tall person. You ask me to get shit off the high shelves for you at the grocery store. You think it's AMAZING and MAGICAL to be tall. I'm a girl. You don't sell shoes for me at the store. You don't sell pants for me at the store. Or long-sleeve shirts. Or sweaters. Or coats. I am forced to go online to find clothing that fits my long limbs. I'm not a freak of nature. I'm 6'2 and have a 36-37" inseam. On Zappos (this is where you come in) you can search for pants by inseam. See, this is handy because NOT ALL LENGTHS FIT EVERYONE. However on Zappos, (you!) when you select inseam of 36, 37, you *also* get the inseam of every single pant that just says "one size" when you click on the link, yet in the description below it clearly states an inseam, of usually 30, 32 or 34. Could you PLEASE fix this so that the search for a 36 or 37 inseam actually gives those results? I have one pair of pajama pants that fit wonderfully, however sadly they are old and falling apart and I can't find new pajama pants (and one bad-ass pair of jeans would be nice) in the correct length, and really don't have time to wade through 100+ pairs of pants for SHORT PEOPLE WHO CAN BUY THEIR DAMN PANTS AT THE DAMN STORE.
Thank you very much.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Well, shit
Haven't posted since September? Damn.
I know what I've been doing.
1. I orchestrated the finishing of our kitchen demolition and rehabilitation. Moved home Sept 16, and handled issues well... until now, even. Our blinds are still fucking broken.
2. Played a shit-ton of patty-cake and peekaboo. Fed the kid, napped the kid, washed the kid, changed the kid, played with the kid, picked up after the kid, changed the kid's clothes, took the kid to fun things, bought the kid food, chased the kid around the house, outside the house, etc. Many, many hours are occupied with the kid.
3. Did fun things for myself so my brain does not rot. IE: Trivia.
4. Did stupid shit you have to do, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, bills, sleeping, cleaning, lawn mowing, leaf raking, and other random bullshit that comes up when you have a life.
5. Getting sick. Over and over and over. At least once in Sept, and Oct, and Nov - Dec (for like two weeks) and again New Year's Eve. I don't know why I keep getting sick or why each time is worse than the last but I'VE HAD A FUCKING E-FUCKING NOUGH OF IT. THANKS.
6. Fuck, I don't know. I got a car, a haircut, went to Chicago for our anniversary, spent too much time on the Internet, worked a few hours, looked for jobs, had a promising interview, got the shaft, watched the entire seasons of Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Storage Wars and Pawn Stars. And Mad Men (for the second time.) I said I was sick. I can't read when I'm sick. I can only sleep, whine, eat, and watch TV.
7. Eat. Goddammit I keep trying to eat healthy and then I get another cold and I just want to feed it nachos. This is not working.
2012 isn't starting out so great.
I know what I've been doing.
1. I orchestrated the finishing of our kitchen demolition and rehabilitation. Moved home Sept 16, and handled issues well... until now, even. Our blinds are still fucking broken.
2. Played a shit-ton of patty-cake and peekaboo. Fed the kid, napped the kid, washed the kid, changed the kid, played with the kid, picked up after the kid, changed the kid's clothes, took the kid to fun things, bought the kid food, chased the kid around the house, outside the house, etc. Many, many hours are occupied with the kid.
3. Did fun things for myself so my brain does not rot. IE: Trivia.
4. Did stupid shit you have to do, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, bills, sleeping, cleaning, lawn mowing, leaf raking, and other random bullshit that comes up when you have a life.
5. Getting sick. Over and over and over. At least once in Sept, and Oct, and Nov - Dec (for like two weeks) and again New Year's Eve. I don't know why I keep getting sick or why each time is worse than the last but I'VE HAD A FUCKING E-FUCKING NOUGH OF IT. THANKS.
6. Fuck, I don't know. I got a car, a haircut, went to Chicago for our anniversary, spent too much time on the Internet, worked a few hours, looked for jobs, had a promising interview, got the shaft, watched the entire seasons of Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Storage Wars and Pawn Stars. And Mad Men (for the second time.) I said I was sick. I can't read when I'm sick. I can only sleep, whine, eat, and watch TV.
7. Eat. Goddammit I keep trying to eat healthy and then I get another cold and I just want to feed it nachos. This is not working.
2012 isn't starting out so great.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Road to Hell is Paved with Adverbs
Fuck you, Stephen King.
Go ahead, pretend you don't write piles and piles of shit. You do. You know it. And when you're afraid you're going to write a pile of shit, you don't even use your REAL NAME! You use a pseudonym.
FRAUD.
An adverb is simply something that describes a verb. I yelled angrily, then crept stealthily before I ran quickly to the store! It was a grimly scene.
REDUNDANT.
"(It's like explaining a joke — if you need to tell us something happened in a grimly or someone spoke grimly, then it's not really that grim.)" - Charlie Jane Anders, Io9.com
But you know what, adverbs, like everything in life, are perfectly fine in moderation. Thank you.
Go ahead, pretend you don't write piles and piles of shit. You do. You know it. And when you're afraid you're going to write a pile of shit, you don't even use your REAL NAME! You use a pseudonym.
FRAUD.
An adverb is simply something that describes a verb. I yelled angrily, then crept stealthily before I ran quickly to the store! It was a grimly scene.
REDUNDANT.
"(It's like explaining a joke — if you need to tell us something happened in a grimly or someone spoke grimly, then it's not really that grim.)" - Charlie Jane Anders, Io9.com
But you know what, adverbs, like everything in life, are perfectly fine in moderation. Thank you.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Employed!
So, it's a start. We are moving forward. I'm writing content for a website in San Diego. If all goes well, I will get more hours. I will get paid for it even!
The key to being a good writer, writers say, is to write. That's it. You just have to do it a lot. If you want to be good at something it takes practice.
My job will be to write, and I can feel the words swirling around in my head but I can't always seem to fetch the right ones.
I'm tired.
So, I will practice.
I must practice.
I've had one big asshole of a month. We finished July with little Claire's first birthday party, and mere days later jetted off to Los Angeles for a wedding. I don't recommend taking a baby to a wedding. It was great visiting husband's family in the L.A. area - it was worth it to bring her for this.
However, we went to the San Bernadino mountains for the wedding, up, up the windy roads to a cabin in the woods. There weren't really accommodations for the kids, so you had to hold them or put them in a stroller, which to a squirming bored kid, this isn't great. We drove an hour down the windy mountain road for the ceremony... sat in a back room with Claire because there wasn't friendly people offering room in the rear pews of the church... then drove up the mountain an hour for the reception. No where to sit Claire, so she's strapped in a stroller between tables. And she's bored. And angry. But we can't let her wander around - the whole outdoor rustic place is filled with 3-foot drop-offs. I end up going to my room before 8pm to put Claire to bed and sat in my room all night with my Kindle. Had our cabin been near the reception (as other rooms were) I could have stayed, but nay, we were on the opposite side of the grounds.
To recap; we traveled across the country and halfway across southern California to go to a wedding I did not see, and attend a reception that I really wasn't at.
Again. Don't recommend bringing babies.
However, the days afterward where we went to the beach, the aquarium, the wading pool and spent time with family was THE BEST. I'm thankful for that.
We return home to a wet carpet and sticky kitchen. The water line to our fridge had been kinked by the people who put in our floors (and moved the fridge) and it broke, and water sprayed onto the wall, the cabinet next to it, and seeped under my brand-new floors all the way across the entire kitchen, and into the living room - under the couch, under the table.
You really never saw any water - but it was under everything.
We stayed at the in-laws for two days and then moved on to a hotel.
Then there were phone calls and destruction and fans and 112 degree temperatures baking my house and murdering my plants.
Then more phone calls and more phone calls...
Yesterday the rebuild began.
Is this fucking month over yet?
The key to being a good writer, writers say, is to write. That's it. You just have to do it a lot. If you want to be good at something it takes practice.
My job will be to write, and I can feel the words swirling around in my head but I can't always seem to fetch the right ones.
I'm tired.
So, I will practice.
I must practice.
I've had one big asshole of a month. We finished July with little Claire's first birthday party, and mere days later jetted off to Los Angeles for a wedding. I don't recommend taking a baby to a wedding. It was great visiting husband's family in the L.A. area - it was worth it to bring her for this.
However, we went to the San Bernadino mountains for the wedding, up, up the windy roads to a cabin in the woods. There weren't really accommodations for the kids, so you had to hold them or put them in a stroller, which to a squirming bored kid, this isn't great. We drove an hour down the windy mountain road for the ceremony... sat in a back room with Claire because there wasn't friendly people offering room in the rear pews of the church... then drove up the mountain an hour for the reception. No where to sit Claire, so she's strapped in a stroller between tables. And she's bored. And angry. But we can't let her wander around - the whole outdoor rustic place is filled with 3-foot drop-offs. I end up going to my room before 8pm to put Claire to bed and sat in my room all night with my Kindle. Had our cabin been near the reception (as other rooms were) I could have stayed, but nay, we were on the opposite side of the grounds.
To recap; we traveled across the country and halfway across southern California to go to a wedding I did not see, and attend a reception that I really wasn't at.
Again. Don't recommend bringing babies.
However, the days afterward where we went to the beach, the aquarium, the wading pool and spent time with family was THE BEST. I'm thankful for that.
We return home to a wet carpet and sticky kitchen. The water line to our fridge had been kinked by the people who put in our floors (and moved the fridge) and it broke, and water sprayed onto the wall, the cabinet next to it, and seeped under my brand-new floors all the way across the entire kitchen, and into the living room - under the couch, under the table.
You really never saw any water - but it was under everything.
We stayed at the in-laws for two days and then moved on to a hotel.
Then there were phone calls and destruction and fans and 112 degree temperatures baking my house and murdering my plants.
Then more phone calls and more phone calls...
Yesterday the rebuild began.
Is this fucking month over yet?
Friday, June 3, 2011
Apple is fucking with me
Dear Melissa,
Welcome to Apple iTunes Store Customer Support!
Hello, Its Manish again, Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear that your issue has been resolved. It is because of the customers like you we are able to make our services best in the world.
"Your satisfaction is a great compliment for us."
Melissa, Apple and I are currently striving for the best experience possible in making sure our customers have been taken care of their satisfaction. You can submit your feedback for the services provided by me in the link (survey sheet) you may receive from Apple, with in six days from today.
Melissa, if you need anything else please feel free to reply back. We are always just an email away. Here in Apple we care.
Apple wants your iTunes Store experience as smooth as possible.
at Apple, We care! Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Manish
iTunes Store Customer Support
............................................
Apple is fucking with me.
Did you see it?
"Your satisfaction is a great compliment for us."
That sounds sarcastic to me. You put something in quotes and all I hear is sarcasm.
"We sit around all day just waiting to help people like you!"
Really!
Either that or he's got a random compliment generator, and just clicks a button, copies and pastes.
"We are happy to serve you."
"Here at apple our mission is your happiness."
Still sounds sarcastic to me.
Welcome to Apple iTunes Store Customer Support!
Hello, Its Manish again, Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear that your issue has been resolved. It is because of the customers like you we are able to make our services best in the world.
"Your satisfaction is a great compliment for us."
Melissa, Apple and I are currently striving for the best experience possible in making sure our customers have been taken care of their satisfaction. You can submit your feedback for the services provided by me in the link (survey sheet) you may receive from Apple, with in six days from today.
Melissa, if you need anything else please feel free to reply back. We are always just an email away. Here in Apple we care.
Apple wants your iTunes Store experience as smooth as possible.
at Apple, We care! Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Manish
iTunes Store Customer Support
............................................
Apple is fucking with me.
Did you see it?
"Your satisfaction is a great compliment for us."
That sounds sarcastic to me. You put something in quotes and all I hear is sarcasm.
"We sit around all day just waiting to help people like you!"
Really!
Either that or he's got a random compliment generator, and just clicks a button, copies and pastes.
"We are happy to serve you."
"Here at apple our mission is your happiness."
Still sounds sarcastic to me.
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