Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Mars vs. Venus

Recently a male friend of mine insinuated that another male friend of mine was not necessarily my friend because of who I am but because of what I am.
I'm young, I'm a girl, and not hideously ugly. So... voila... all they want is to get into my pants.
Look, I'm not debating the status of current or past friendships, I'm just talking about the general idea of this statement.
I know there's this age old argument between men & women and the basis of men is that they are simple creatures and need only 3 things: food, sleep, sex.
I apparently am the more complex creature and I believe that there's more. I have played the Sims. You can't just let the men sleep and eat - they want more or they jump up and down and whine and wave their hands in the air and indicate their displeasure with icons above their head of the things they are lacking.
True, real people aren't that simple - though that would make it easier. If the thing I needed appeared in a bubble above my head you'd find me looking up more often. If all the answers were really there in the air - ready for the plucking - we'd all be a lot happier. Too bad life isn't that easy.
But, really... this kind of hurt my feelings. All my life I've usually had more male friends than female and I've been told this line time and time again. They aren't my friend because they want to be my friend, they are my friend because they want in my pants. Being told this again makes me question the past friendships I've had and the ones I have now and that bothers me. My life is more complete because of the guys in my life and I value their friendship and it seems to cheapen the relationship to put such a simple insulting label on it.
I find it implies that they don't really 'like' me - they just want something from me and it's insulting.
I was at a friends bonfire not too long ago, sitting around the fire with the husband and about 4 or 5 other guys. The woman of the house comes out with a lady or two with her and her husband says something like oh now the girls are coming out to join the guys. I said, "Hey, I'm a girl, I'm out here!"
To which he replied, "aaah you're really one of the guys."
Which I kind of smiled at and appreciated. It also helps prove my point... while that statement of "men only want one thing" may be true for some guys, and may be true in some cases... is not true in every case, so please stop telling me this. It takes all the meaning out of friendships for me. I'd prefer to go on blindly believing people like me for who I am.
Guys - help me out here, is this true every time? Really?

1 comment:

GrimSamaritan said...

Strange... I seem to remember that night by that bonfire, yet I'm equally certain I was not there. I was out of state on business at that time. --That's the thing about knowing the same circle of personalities for so long... Our conversations have all cycled more than once.. I wonder which character I might have played on the night you describe. I wonder who I would play today?