Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Little bitta road rage

Current mood: giddy

I'm driving to work today on one of the twelve possible routes, and today's journey brings me to turn left at a stoplight. So, I do what people should do... turn on my blinker and get in the left turn lane. Then this crazy bitch (in an SUV sucking on a cigarette, of course) turns her blinker on and cuts me off to get in front of me. Kinda rude, so I honk.

Guess what? My car was built with this thing called a horn. When you do something stupid or rude, I will honk at you. If you continue to do something stupid or rude I will continue to honk at you.

So, stupid SUV woman stops. The light is green so I honk at her. She's all waving her hand out the window at me & shit, and yelling. Look, you cut me off, I honked, I'm over it, just go through the damn light. But no, she sits there. Light turns red. We creep up to the light and sit there and stupid gets out of her car. Seriously. Go ahead, get out of your car. Bring it on bitch. You do not want me to get out of my car.

She's got wicked bed-head and she's in one of those ridiculous baby blue velour "I'm too cool for real clothes" track suits and looks like crap. You aren't fooling anyone honey, everyone knows you are not going to the gym. She's waving her manicured hand around and yelling at me, "Did you have your blinker on?" Yes, I believe I did... maybe because you are stupid you didn't see it, or were too busy lighting your silly cigarette to notice.

She gets back in and drives off and that's the end of it, but I swear there's some crazy bitch out there that is just itching for me to kick her ass. Look, I'm really not a bitch, I hold doors open for old people, I donate to charities and recycle, I like puppies and smile at strangers with babies. But I'd love to kick somebody's ass sometime. I haven't had a good ass-kicking in a long time and I've got a little angry me in my pocket I could let come out and play. Just think how many cool points I'd get for being arrested. Who wants to be the lucky one?

No comments: