Friday, August 21, 2009

Require exposure to people

So, I am hoping to post more often. I was taking a look at the side column there.... down, to the right... yeah, with the old posts. And I see I kinda dropped off around the end of 2008. I also began working at home the end of 2008? Coincidence?
It's hard to put my little stories in here, when they now consist of... woke up... talked to the cat... made tea.... worked.... ate a sandwich... talked to the cat some more.... finished working.... made dinner.... watched tv/movie/played video games .... slept.... REPEAT. It would be like a never ending facebook status. Working at home is BoRinG, people. Bor-fucking-ing.

I'm sure in past posts I had little ideas of things I should write about. I guess I could go back to them and dig up the ideas, or I could just be more aware of crazy shit going on around me. Like the crazy bitch at the farmers market a week or so ago that was trying to get a free melon because the last one she bought was bad. A. She didn't return the melon. B. She bought it two weeks ago. C. She's a whiny bitch and I overhear this because she's making a big fucking stink about it. Bitching at the poor teenage checkout girl at the counter who could give two shits about her rotten melon.
So melon lady walks away and then starts complaining at anyone, then me. "This place is awful, I'm not shopping here anymore." So I tell her maybe she should have brought the melon back if it was such a big deal.
"It was ROTTEN! and it was weeks ago!" I ask her if $2 really that big of a deal - and she snaps, "It's a big deal to me!"
I reply, "whatever lady, you're the one who started talking to me - and I'm not on your side."
Go try that whiny shit at Kroger. Stupid bitch.

Happy Friday : D

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

More awesome stuff about Detroit

Hopefully the link works.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Need famous person, must already look famous

What is it with these celebrities all fricking looking alike?

To me, there's about twelve girls that look like Kristen Stewart. The one from White Oleander, she looks like her. And several other skinny dark-eyed angry teenagers.
Then, there's like 7 chicks that look like Rachel Weisz.

Oh and to me, in several instances, Al Pacino looks like Robert DeNiro.

But here's the kicker. Which one is Rachel McAdams and which one is Elizabeth Banks??

C'mon Hollywood, you can do better!

Voice Control

Hi Kiddies,
I'm sorry I haven't written. I've been outside playing. I love me some SUMMER. Maybe when the weather is grey and ass-like I will write more often, eh?

So, anyway I got me one of those iPhones for my birthday and just like almost everyone else with an iPhone, I love it. I am one of those people that is constantly making out with their phone. It has new toys and tricks and fancy widgets and gadgets and pings that the old phone could only cry itself to sleep wishing it could do.

Well, I'm driving along and I get this idea that I want to listen to music, crazy right? I remember the phone has voice control so I decide to give it a whirl, I hold the home button for two seconds, voice control pops up. I yell at the phone "Play, Kelly Clarkson!"

Yeah, so I listen to Kelly Clarkson, don't judge me. Suck it.

The phone pings, and promptly says "Playing songs by Train" and begins to play "Meet Virginia."

Um, no iPhone, that isn't what I wanted!

I repeat the actions, and speak louder, "PLAY, KELLY CLARKSON!"

The phone pings, and then promptly says, "Playing album Elephant" and begins to play "Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes."

Grr. No iPhone, that isn't even close!! What are you doing?? I scream at the phone, "PLAY, MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU"
The phone pings, and then begins to call my eye doctor.

Augh, phone! That is not it! I focus on the road, cancel the call, hit the home button and try again. I try speaking quieter, maybe it doesn't like to be yelled at. "Play, my life would suck without you."

The phone pings, and then says, "Playing songs by Britney Spears" and begins to play "Circus."

For crap sakes iPhone what is your problem? What part of Kelly Clarkson, or My Life Would Suck Without You, makes you think Elephant, Eye Doctor, Britney Spears and Train????

This, my dear friends is what causes car accidents. I find the damn song on my own by poking through the menu and began rocking out to my fun Kelly C. Dear Apple, Voice Control needs some work.

Thank you very much.