Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I'm home and sick

Current mood: sick

Everything went wrong in London and I am glad to be home. No more trips until September.
And it is HOT outside, it is so so spectacular, I set up my kiddie pool. Looking forward to being skinny in a bikini this summer yee ha!
I was watching the sopranos yesterday and this woman was all bijiggity about Vito being gay and I said wouldn't it be awesome if somehow we could prove jesus was gay? Take that and shove it you religious zealots.
Oh and this weekend April and Mike went to the cabin with Damon, and all of a sudden Mike said they had to get wine, and disappeared with April immediately. Like an hour later they came back with no wine, and damon called them on their lie, they went to get nookie in the park. See the story is really funny because now we make fun of them and say, yeah, I got some wine earlier, and I'm thinking about getting some wine tomorrow!
Oh and I hate babies. Children are a disease. Okay, that's not all true. Children on airplanes and children in movie theaters should all die. See on the plane to London there were these two demons disguised as children that were yelling and jumping on the seats and fighting and having pillow fights for like hours. Take that on a 8 hour flight. Die you stupid devil children!
Oh and this is the worst. Yesterday we go to see xmen (PG 13) and this bitch comes in late and sits right next to me with her BABY. What bitch brings a BABY to xmen? Oh and she brought her husband and 4 year old son too. The BABY is crying and the kid keeps talking, so I of course shushed them. Then the dad takes crying BABY and stands in the exit, so you can still hear crying BABY because daddy wants to see the movie.
Thanks! Love you! Buh bye!

Friday, May 19, 2006

I am not a fish!

Current mood: amused

So I work on the north campus of the University of Michigan in the Pierpont Commons, I sit by the window, like a fish in a fishtank, and all day long things go by. I sit and work at my computer and occasionally look up and see any number of odd things. Usually just people walking by, but today... today someone walked by in a chicken suit. A full, head to toe, chicken suit. Not sure why.

One time a guy in a wolverine suit went by, I figured he had a UM thing, but a chicken suit? Another time a guy went by in full makeup, spiked hair, and short plaid skirt and white girly button down top... maybe it was a frat thing, but a chicken suit?

One time a guy, (I am not lying) rode by on a unicycle. You look up, see a unicycle riding guy go by, and look back at your computer and continue to work. What can you say?

Not too long ago a large group of people walked by backwards. It was about 50 people, and then a few minutes later they did it again, and again. We never found out why they kept walking by, backwards.

Oh! The best one ever was the valentine ninjas. One time, on valentines day like two years ago, a group of maybe 12 people in full black ninja costumes (only the eyes showing) ran through the entire building and whipped candy at people. That was interesting.

Maybe the guy in the chicken suit will come back and I can ask him what the hell he's doing.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Heathrow Airport

Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Current mood: quixotic

Got to go to London this Sunday for the bread and butter tour of the year. This will be the third year in a row I get to go to the prestigous Chelsea Flower Show. This is where I take 94 grandmothers to visit English Gardens that they've always dreamed of. Insert LOTS of patience.
This is the one I get the best questions from. In 2005, a lovely group of ladies (from the south) plopped down in a cafe in London and promptly said, "Can we use American money here?"
Now dear, if someone from England came to your little cafe in nowheresville usa, can they use British Pounds? Probably not.
Another great one is "Why don't they make the planes stop flying overhead when our guide is talking?" As if we control airport traffic?
And my all time favorite: "Why did they build Windsor Castle so close to the airport?"

Perhaps, maybe... just maybe... the castle was there first?

This one time, a TRAVEL AGENT called and asked our Australia expert about train schedules from New Zealand to Sydney (you may have to check a globe for that one...)

If you find yourself asking these questions, or ones similar to it, please stop. I am not being picky. These are pretty obvious. You make me insane.