Thursday, April 24, 2008

Free dog

Free dog to good home.
Barks for hours and hours on end.
Location: my neighbors backyard.
Come steal my neighbors dog.

You know where I live. I have a new neighbor. Only one neighbor and he sucks. I have not met him, but I don't like him. Our introduction to new neighbor was on Super Bowl Sunday.

Here's the scenario: Husband is happily watching tv, I'm happily surfing the internet, when suddenly tv and internet go out. I had seen new neighbor doing suspicious activity in his yard and looked out the window. Asshat is on a ladder fucking with the cable box high upon the utility pole between our yards.
Husband goes to investigate and finds out new neighbor had unplugged our cable line to plug it into his so he could watch the super bowl. Apparently didn't realize that would make our cable go out.

WTF??!!! We are the ones paying for cable, fuck off you asshat. Pay for your own cable. Meeting your new neighbors by getting found out that you are stealing their cable is not good. Asshat.

Now, his stupid ugly neglected barking mutt sack has been yapping for.... at least 6 hours straight. Bark bark bark.

I don't know which is worse, this stupid ugly dog that barks for hours on end at nothing, or my old neighbor's dog - a 3-legged pit bull made from the blood of satan with the mental capacity of a shoe. That thing scared the shit out of everybody. Jumped on people, jumped on cars, (causing it to go from 4-legged to a 3-legged) had a tire for a chew toy. A TIRE.

This thing, it's just a nuisance. I can't even call the cops to complain. There's no one but us that cares, he'd know it was us calling. Like I need to start that kind of trouble.

So, please. Come steal this stupid fucking dog. I don't care. Make it go away.

Questions I may never know the answers to...

When will summer finally get here?
When I go to the bathroom while working late, why do I always close and lock the door, even though I know for a fact that I'm the only person in the building?
Why does the blue Huron Valley Travel toolbox smell like somebody threw up in it?
Why is the tap water in the bathroom at work always yellow?
Why am I concerned with what I wear to work when I know for a fact that only one person will see me, and they don't give a shit what I wear?
Why can't my photos ever get on explore on flickr?
Why is the sign on the roof at Izzy's never lit up?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Five things

two top five lists - for fun....

Top six favorite albums of all time (in no particular order.)
These are some albums I could listen to over and over again, (and I have) and each and every song is great, and I just never get bored of it. In the current world of one hit per cd albums - these are my best.

1. Moby. Play.
Funky to the extreme, best for long drives. Just amazing shit.

2. Natural Born Killers Soundtrack.
Fucked up. Beautiful. I can never get tired of listening to this. Best when combined with desert. (Yes. Desert.)

3. Nine Inch Nails, The Downward Spiral
Trent Reznor is a god. Okay, maybe more like a devil. But Awesome.

4. Massive Attack, Mezzanine
Dark room. Music on. Nothing else needed.

5. Sheryl Crow, Tuesday Night Music Club
Driving down the highway on a hot summer's day with the windows open and the stereo up, shouting along with miss Sheryl Crow. Not bad.

6. Cowboy Junkies, The Trinity Session
Really good headphones. Margo Timmins. Nothing else necessary.

(pretty good runner up's)
Bjork, Post
Peter Gabriel, So
Joan Osbourne, Relish
Portishead, Portishead
U2, The Joshua Tree
Social Distortion, White Light, White Heat, White Trash

Top Five CARS: (again, in no particular order...)

1. Bugatti Veyron
Because the name is sexy, and damn is it fast.

2. Volkswagen Jetta.
I love my car, and can't leave it off the list.

3. Mini Cooper.
Hott!! and if I didn't have a Jetta, this is what I'd drive.

4. Volkswagen Beetle.
Hippie Icon, an extreme insult to real car enthusiasts everywhere. Iconic. Legendary. Beetle.

5. Porsche 911 something or other.
Face it, I don't know shit about cars, why am I making this list?

What's your list? Help me out here... the internet is a crowded and lonely place...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It's been a few days

So... Shelly & I were at work and she was telling a story and mentioned something about the show, "Everybody Loves Raymond," to prove her point in the story. Once she finished her story, I told her that I never watch the show because I don't like it, and she went on about the mom and the families and how funny, blah blah blah. And I explained to her that I hate that show, and others in the same vein because I absolutely cannot stand sitcoms that revolve around portraying men as stupid.

And she said exactly what every other person has said when I've told them the same thing.

"Huh, that's weird."


Weird to think that portraying men as idiots is offensive?

Weird to think that having a character on a show incapable of doing anything without his hero wife is offensive?

Weird that I hate proliferating this ridiculous stereotype?

There's a handful of these out there, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, etc... These shows are supposed to be "sooo great" and I've seen enough to know I don't like it. Woman tells man "go grocery shopping." Man goes to store. Man comes home with porn and beer. Woman tells man, "get dressed." Man comes out of room with shirt on backwards. Woman places hand on hip and frowns disapprovingly at incapable oaf and shakes finger at man.
Me= rolling my eyes and screaming.

I just cannot stand the idea that a man is useless without a woman to guide him. Or rather, to mommy him. Treat him like a little boy and boss him around and patronize him. To insinuate that they could not get dressed, they could not possibly go to the store and buy everything they need, they could not take care of their children for an hour, they could not fix anything in the house, and then laugh about it to their capable women-pals, it's just really inane and offensive. Golly honey, I put my finger in the light socket again, could you help me? Golly honey, I just set the house on fire, whoops!!!

I know these shows are not based on reality, but I don't actually know anybody who even comes close to resembling these people. The men I know are capable, kind, and intelligent and when idiots watch shit like this and begin to believe what they see on TV, it makes me crazy. I know I can't fix the dumbing down of America, but I sure as hell don't have to watch it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Dammit Dammit Dammit!

So, I'm on an email list for Social Distortion. I like to get updates on when they're playing shows, just in case they ever get anywhere near Michigan. They play in CA all the time, but I got an email recently with touring updates and lo and behold my favorite lead singer of my favorite band in the world is coming to town!
They never come to town!
I scan the list and see Detroit. Yes! and then I see they're playing May 19.
Of course I'm out of town. In London.
By then I'll be eyeballs-deep in Chelsea Flower Show shenanigans.

I want Mike Ness!

Monday, April 7, 2008

smokin hot

So, husband and I are watching season 1 of Boston Legal from dvds. We like the show. I've got a thing for James Spader. It's the voice, and the stare, and the delivery of the dialogue, and the gestures and... well... that's not the point right now.
Anyway, we're watching it and on season 1 there's this chick and she's British and she has long hair and she is smoldering hot. imdb tells me her name is Rhona Mitra.
We discuss the level of her smoldering hotness at some length. The face, the body, the stare, the accent... the package.
He says she's hot. I fully agree. Usually there's something to point out, something not quite right for either of us that throws it off. A flaw, if I may. Not the case here. We are in full agreement on this one.
I even declare to husband that she's the kind of hot where you'd really like to see her naked. (Sometimes nudity removes a level of hotness, you know?)
I throw out a statement like that and husband doesn't bat an eye.

But seriously. This chick is hot.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I am the cooler

So, tonight I get invited by husband to go to the casino for B's birthday... and what else am I going to do? I go out to play. He offers up $100 for anybody who wants to drive so I volunteer the ol' Jetta. I could really use the $100.
We venture on to downtown Detroit. I hate driving in Detroit. Everyone drives like an idiot asshole and the roads make no fucking sense. Crazy lanes, stupid turns, horrible signage, misaligned lights. I hate it.
First place we see? Mega glowing twinkling shiny bright, Motor City Casino. We cruise around, find parking in their ridiculously confusing structure and wander in.
It's crowded. And stinky. And for a new building it's awful dark, dirty and cramped. I was immediately disappointed. The lights on the ceiling in some areas are cool, but overall what a blah place.
The place is packed with people who likely shouldn't be wasting their money. How do you tell if an area is not doing well financially? Check and see if the casinos are packed. Most of them elderly, tethered to the machines by that silly cord and the card that I still don't understand what the function is. Their fat wheezing bodies watching the whir of the wheels, the downward blinking of the LED as the minutes tick away more slowly than their money disappears. Most of them smoking or drinking and frowning their wrinkled brows as they plink and clink away their electronic bucks.
I decide to test my "coolerness" and stand and stare at this asian woman's machine. I watch her lose $75 in less than 3 minutes. She realizes I'm watching and stands up to block my view. That won't work lady - my luck suck can work through you. She quickly loses the rest of her money and leaves.
I watch another man fretting over his machine. After a few minutes and a few hundred dollars he too, realizes I'm watching and literally covers the front of the machine with his hands.
These people are crazy.
I play a bit here and there, and chase the spin a bit. I've got a slight thing for the "Wheel of Fortune" game. I lose a few, and walk away. Seconds later, as I'm not really paying attention, the man who has taken my machine wins $500. My heart sinks a little.
Oh well.
I lose a few more, win $50, lose some more, win $50. Then I quit. I got paid $100 to drive and am going home with $70.
I stay and watch the Wheel of Fortune and stay away from husband so he can win some money.
Over the course of 30 minutes I watch 6 people pour well over $2,000 into these machines. They could have given me the money and I'd yell "Wheel of Fortune" at them and wave something shiny. It'd be more of a show and I'd benefit from the money.
There really isn't anybody young in this entire casino at all. I suppose young people are the ones that really don't have money to waste. I guess I don't really understand the connection between the elderly and casinos. This one old lady didn't even seem to know what she was doing. She won $150 at Wheel of Fortune and asked me what she won. I should have told her she'd won a free pack of cigarettes but she'd have to give me all her money. And she'd say, "And how!" that's a good deal and hand over her cash.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Can't sleep (again)

Daily Horoscope for Cancer, April 3, 2008: Your eagerness for change at work may make it difficult for you to settle down today and finish your job. Still, it's best to let things evolve in their own time. Don't force an issue just because you think it will make you feel better. It's a smarter strategy to stay flexible now, for the situation probably won't unfold according to your plan.

There's a discussion to be had about my future at my job with me doing the talking...

This was supposed to be a great deal. I only work with one other person. I have flexible hours. I travel internationally several times a year. This sounds like the deal of a lifetime. Why am I being such a baby?

One, I'm unhappy. This isn't what I thought it would be. I hate the isolation. Hate it. I need to work with more people. I feel I can't say anything critical to my coworker because I'm afraid of creating an uncomfortable work environment, there's really just the two of us, so I say nothing.
Money just goes to various places and I feel I have no real control over it. Pays for this, pays for that, for what? I'm not really sure, but can't seem to stop the outward flow. I stress about the money. I have my own finances to worry about and I don't like having to worry about finances of my place of employment. Economy is weak, people aren't traveling as much and I'm making a lot less money.

I feel like I have no support. I've been pushed into this position and have nobody to depend on for help. I ask questions, seek support, and frequently get no reply. I've been told one thing and receive hearsay of an entirely different truth. Is this arrangement for 12 months or 16 months? I don't know. The deal keeps changing. And it's like there's no focus. Sometimes there's a task at hand that needs to be dealt with and I don't feel were on the same path.

And, I feel I've got no security. If there was a better deal, a better offer, a way out for him... I feel the rug would be pulled out from under me in a second. Would I do the same in return? No. I stay. I work. I am loyal. I keep thinking somehow it will work out for me in the end. Karma.

Isolation, no control, no support, less money, more work, disloyalty, I feel like I'm getting a raw deal.

Do I want more control? Not really. I don't believe I'm a strong enough leader to make the right decisions. I force decisions upon someone else when I don't know what the right decision is. So when it doesn't work out well I can say, it wasn't my decision. When I know it will work out well I will take control.

Do I want more support? I suppose I do. When I ask a question I'd like an answer and not to be ignored. Do I want to have every detail of my day scrutinized? No. That wouldn't be support would it?

Do I want more money? Yes, but I don't feel I'm valuable enough to him to get it. Would I fight harder if I truly believed I deserved it? I am not a strong person, I am not a leader. I am a pushover. I will put up with it. I know this year is not good. Does that mean I should make thousands less? I don't know. I do know I'm unhappy about it. Is this all a little too soon? Likely. I don't truly know what the year has in store financially, but I'm not optimistic. It's not my job to be optimistic. I try to be realistic.

Which begs the all important question: What do I want?

I don't know. I'm not sure I like what I've got myself into. But I agreed to do this. I'm running out of reasons to be motivated. I feel I am just going through the motions. If I leave the doors close. I feel trapped. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough to have a better job somewhere else. I feel have no where else to go. It's not like other employers are knocking down doors to hire people. I have bills to pay and can't afford to be unemployed. He's got me.

What do I want?