Monday, November 19, 2007

This one time I went bowling and fell down

No, it wasn't yesterday.
I did go bowling yesterday and it was fun, but I suck.
No. Really.
My first game? I scored a 61. Sixty-one. That's like seventeen gutterballs and a strike. Yep. I suck.
So, you know one of the strange things I see bowling? People that wander up, and just sort of flick the ball off their hand and it creeps toward the pins and clunk clunk clatter clunk, they get a strike. Augh.
I go flying up there all a blur of legs and hair and whip the ball down and... GUTTERBALL. *Sigh* dammit.
I've been told I'll get better. I certainly hope so. I'm only getting worse so far.
Oh, the other strange thing! A few weeks ago I saw this dude on his cell phone, go up and bowl and get a strike... all while still on the phone. He's got the bowling ball in one hand and the phone in the other and he's doing the whole thing on the phone. I thought that was just the worst, bowling on the phone. Put the damn phone down. Really.
But then? I see it again yesterday, some chick is bowling while on the phone.
Oh hell people. Stop it. Please.

So, onto the story...
Years ago we were on a Sunday night bowling league at Bel-Mark (me, Damon, Brian and his then-girlfriend Kirsten). One of those nights I went up to throw, the very first ball of the night. I step up and walk toward the line and swing my arm back and step forward and accidentally stepped about 3 inches over "The Line." My foot promptly shot out and somehow my entire body went with it and I went up and away and then landed hard on the small of my back.
I just laid there on the floor thinking, "That really hurt so I'm just gonna lay here a second" followed immediately by "There's a lot of people in here and I really should get the hell off the lane, they're probably all staring."
I half sit up and try to put my hands and feet on the floor to get up. Now I know you know the floor is oiled, but I'm sure you have no idea the real slickness of your average bowling alley lane.
This floor is insanely slippery. I literally cannot put my hands and feet down solidly enough to even get up. I scramble in place and can barely even sit up. It's not like ice, its much, much worse.
Damon goes from laughing to concern to scolding in the blink of an eye. He asks if I'm ok. I put my hand out toward him and tell him to drag me off because I can't get up. He tells me to stop playing around and get off. I tell him that no, really I can't get up - you have to drag me off.
At this point I'm like 6 feet down the lane, I flew up and out and landed and slid so he walks on the part in between the lanes a bit and grabs my hand and drags me off the lane. I limp away and sit down and soothe my bruised back and ego.
Sure, it hurt like hell to fall down like that, but also was pretty freakin embarrasing. Though thankfully, nobody really seemed to notice much.
So, a mental note for the future. Never step over the line. That line is there for a reason, and I learned the hard way.

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