Friday, May 9, 2008

And the winner of the best surprise EVAR award goes to....

So, May 8 is (was) my brother's birthday.
He lives in NY, I live in Michigan. I get this idea. I decide I'm going to fly into NY to see him on his birthday. Only... I'm not going to tell him I'm coming.

I talked to his boss Jennifer, his co-worker Ben, his roommate Will and his friend Nicole all on Facebook - I find out everything I need to know and invite all his pals. After he gets out of work he's going to this honky-tonk dive bar called Yogi's at 75th & Broadway.

So, Nicole and her roommate Jen and I show up there about 10:30pm. It is a shithole honky-tonk bar. Peanut shells, beer and broken glass on the floor. Crazy-dirt-bar people as well. The three of us get hit on no less than 7 times. I got told I was tall three times. THREE. There's a guy line dancing by himself. They play the same songs over and over. All My exes Live in Texas, Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash, more country. I get a text from Ben that they'll be leaving Juilliard around 11:30. We wait. I get a text from Ben at 11:45 that they're leaving. Joe's roommate Will and another one of his friends join our table at the end of the bar.

I give slutty bartender #1 (the one with the hat) $10 and tell her that I've flown into town today for my brothers birthday and he does not know I am here. I tell her what he looks like and tell her to give him a long island ice tea when he walks in the door (obnoxious drink) and tell him it's from the table at the end of the bar where we are waiting and then we'd wave at him and he'd flip out.

Joe and Ben arrive and slutty bartender #1 is busy at the opposite end of the bar and doesn't notice him come in. Ben has been instructed to keep him at the end of the bar for a few minutes. We wait, we send Jen (because Joe doesn't know her) to get slutty bartender #1 to give him the drink. Slutty bartender #1 then gets up on the bar to start dancing with the clientele to "These Boots are Made for Walking." It's like freakin coyote ugly in here. Slutty bartender #2 (the one with the boobs) is the only one left making drinks.

Jen comes back unsuccessful and then Joe starts coming down where we are - he's looking to see if anyone else is here. I kind of crouch down between Will & Nicole and Joe sees Nicole first - she's got lots of white-blond hair and is easy to spot and he is surprised, and excited to see her - he's like wow! I didn't think I told her we were going to Yogis.. Then you can see him identify the crowd a bit at a time with the level of surprise and confusion, because then he sees Will and he's like wow! Why is he here? He was busy... the little wheels are churning. Then he sees me and jumps a bit - and says Oh My God... OH MY GOD! and had this amazing look of surprise I've never seen before. It was SUPERB. And I jumped up and squealed and hugged him. It was all AAAHAHAHHAHA!!! for a bit with the screaming and hugging all his pals.

Then he's all full of questions, when did you get here? How did this all happen? And I explained how we orchestrated it all and he was blown away. I tell him slutty bartender #1 owes him a fucking drink now. I meet more of his Juilliard friends and thank people for helping out. We stay and drink and retell the story over and over again and drink some more. I think it went off pretty damn well. Huge thanks to all who helped. Love you guys.... I think Joe had a pretty good birthday....

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