Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dear Winter

Dear Winter,
I'm done. You can go now. You have shown off quite enough with your snowy, icy, sleety, freezing rainy, gloomy and otherwise downright shitty attitude. Go.
We've had enough sledding, snowball fights and snowmen and slipping and sliding.
I'm cold. Scratch that, I'm freezing. I'm freezing everywhere I go. I'm freezing at home, at work, at the store, in my car. I'm really tired of my hands being little blue ice sticks all the time. I'm so cold it hurts.
You take away all my fun money on heating bills. My heat is on so much my hair is dry, my skin is dry. You make my skin hurt.
I'm only warm in my bed, and you know what Winter? I can't stay there all day long. As much as I'd like to.
So, I think I speak for EVERYONE I KNOW when I say we are done, and you can go now.
Where are my freak 60 degree February days? We've been sucked into this despair of gloom and freezing and snow and crap for months now. Stop clinging to it, let it go.
The Tigers opening day is in just 33 days! How are they supposed to play baseball in the snow? They don't! So, you take your snow, your ice, your arctic blasts, pack up all your things and go. We want summer to come over and play, now. Summer is fun and hot and lively and exciting and everything you are not.
I'm sorry if you're jealous of Summer but you have to accept the fact that Summer is awesome, and nobody really likes you, so go away.
I'm miserable, I want to play outside, I want trees with leaves, I want to put my coat away, I want to burn my ice scraper and my boots, I'm cold, I'm so done.


Joseph said...

I agree. Fuck off Winter. You're like a drunk chick that won't leave the party, you just keep throwing up on people's stuff. Get out!

Butchie said...

Snow is white mud that turns into grey mud.