Honey, I'm home!

Not for long. And I have stories. But first, this:

Are you f'ing kidding me???

happy saturday

Ah good day. I love a beautiful day. I had run around at Gallup Park and stopped on my favorite bridge and stood there for a while, letting the breeze blow and cool me off before continuing my run. Just superb.
Took off to Portage Lake for a family thing and on the way I realized my camera was dead (!) and I forgot sunscreen. I zip off the highway at Zeeb Rd to pop into Meijer and I'm cruising across the parking lot and see this big guy lumbering across the lot.. and realize it's my dad - with my mom & sister in the car. (!) I drive over and yell, "hey what are you doing here!" Funny to run into them here. I run into Meijer & pick up the items I need and avoid the old man in in the store who very obviously had wet himself and didn't seem concerned about it. Um. Awkward....!
I get to Portage and see my family, cousins, aunts and uncles and it's a good time. I really like chatting with family I don't see often and I got to drool over my uncle Mark's new Canon 40D camera. Hot stuff it is. Oh very nice. I keep feeling my mom & dad lurking into the conversation here and there which is fine, but come on... I just saw you guys two days ago, and last weekend... can you let me talk to these guys? I never get to see them.
Funny how when I go to my parents house all they want to do is watch TV, but when I'm talking with my aunts and uncles they're suddenly very interested in having a conversation and asking me lots of questions. What gives? At least my mom didn't start the "when are you having kids" thing again. Ask the same question over and over and you'll continue to get the same answer. Later.
We will have children later. I'm sorry if I don't want them now. You have your grandkids living with you. Isn't that enough for now?
Anyway.... beautiful day, and I got to chase my older niece and make her scream, "Stop chasing me! I HATE IT WHEN YOU CHASE ME!" Which of course made it lots more fun for me and I chased her some more and made her scream more, and then my uncle joined in the fun. Good times. Heh. Good times indeed.

Hot lesbian action

Teehee hee!
So, I've been playing the Sims lately. I've had the game a long time, but just in the last week or so have been playing it again. I've got lots of random characters, and the last week have mostly been using these two chicks that live together. They have separate rooms and bathrooms and were happy friendly roommates. They have the same job and are pretty tidy.
This silly little game lets you buy shit, decorate, move things around, build houses, destroy houses, control lives, etc.
For instance you could build a house without a toilet and watch them whine and pee their pants. Buy them a stove without a smoke alarm and watch them burn down their kitchen. Or whatever. You are the "god" of this world.
It's pretty popular with girls - likely because of the ability to buy shit, decorate, and move furniture around.
So, anyway, the two chicks. The game tells me if these two roommates made some friends then they'd advance at work (of course they would, right?) so I keep calling people and chatting, but making friends is too hard. Besides, I do not need my virtual characters to have more friends than I do.
So, I just have these two ladies go on about their lives, eating, working, sleeping, socializing, showering, cleaning, having fun, etc.
Soon they become friends with each other.
Really good friends.
Last night I notice one hug the other - on their own - and seemed to both be happy about it (shown by green plus signs over their heads = good thing)
I am curious so I click on one girl to check the options, I see "kiss" "hug" "talk" and a few others. I pick Kiss, then get more options "romantic" "passionate" "friendly" "peck" and I go for broke, I pick passionate.
Then my sims - the two chicks - make out.
I have made lesbians!
I pick all the kiss options and the chicks make out some more.
I'm laughing at my computer now, at all the virtual lesbian action.
And test the compatibility.
Usually if a sim is not friendly, they'll refuse to sleep in the same bed with another. They'll also refuse to use the toilet or shower if another "stranger" sim is in the room.
Not anymore. These chicks are fully compatible.
Sleeping in the same bed, using the toilet while one is in the shower, anything goes.
Apparently I can download hacks to do more with them, but I'm not sure how much weirder I want this to get.
But I'm having lots of fun.

Note to self: Wear more sunscreen

So, Friday I burnt myself, as it turns out not too badly. It's fading now.
Then Sunday I did this bike thing - so I spent about 4 hours outside. Some in shade, most of it on my bike. Did I wear sunscreen? I had the forethought enough to put sunscreen on the parts of my body that were already burnt. The parts that were not? oh no, I left that to nature's full wrath.
I don't know if the sun is just stronger this year, or maybe stronger when it's 90 degrees, or if it is me who just hasn't adjusted to the fact that we are nearly in summer now and the sun is hot.
But my dumb ass burnt myself again. I went on the ride and then after the ride we jumped in the lake to cool off. I was laying on the beach on my stomach chatting with april and this was only for about 10 minutes. After 10 minutes my lower back felt hot so I covered up. And that got sunburnt. I got sunburned in TEN minutes. What am I? Toast?
And my shoulders and shoulder blades that were left to nature's full wrath all day? Developed into red uncomfortableness that evening, into redder pain Monday, and the pain actually woke me up a bunch of times during last night and now this morning it has turned to a blistering (yuck, I know) raging sunburn.
Clothes touching it? No. Oh no.
Shower? Painful.
Moving my arms? Ouch.
My skin demands to know if I'm new here. This is the sun, the sun is hot. You are pale.
What is wrong with you? Why didn't you put sunscreen on me?
Yep, my skin talks to me when it's angry.

Stay away from me until I've healed. I'm really stupid right now.

Whoops

It's a beautiful day.
I love it.
Took off to sit outside for lunch. Nice!
Took off around 2pm to sit outside and enjoy a glass of Pimms. Nice!
It's a hot day, and I didn't put on any sunscreen, figured I'd be ok.
You know how sunburns usually take a few hours to appear? I just came inside
about 5 minutes ago and my skin (face, arms) is already red, fiery and angry.
I may have made a severe misjudgment and could be facing pain later.
Oh boy.
So goes the life of a fair-skinned maiden.

Lies

So, this past February I was in New York for work. I had been invited to go to dinner with some of our customers - three-time travelers to this one trip - and they had graciously invited my brother Joe along.
These guys are faboo - totally fun. He looks like Kenny Rogers, she's just a spark plug. When I don't do this job anymore I will really miss the people I got to know.
Anyway, Joe and I leave the restaurant ahead of them - it's this very Italian place and the guy by the door he says in a thick Italian accent, to my brother, "Hey there, you're tall, you know that? Do you play basketball?"
And without hesitating my brother says, "Oh yeah, all through school - Junior High, High School and college - my coach said I would have gone pro but I blew my knee out senior year."
We walk out the door away from the restaurant.
I stare at him with my mouth hanging open.
If you know my brother you know two things.
1. He has NEVER played basketball. He's not athletic/competitive and is about as threatening as a puppy.
2. Yes, he is nearly 6'6"

I ask him, "What the HELL was THAT?"

He said he was really tired of always telling the boring story - no I don't play basketball, no I don't like sports, blah blah blah, so instead - he has now turned to just making shit up when they ask him.

I don't know why this never occurred to me.
This is brilliant.

Word to the wise: I'm tall for a girl. I get it. I know it. And anybody else who's tall, or short, or whatever knows it too. And you know what, if I didn't know it - I get told AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK that I'm tall.
Hey, you're tall! Hey, did you know you're tall?! Wow, you're tall.

I KNOW.
Seriously. You don't look smart or clever or funny or flirty or cute or anything by pointing this out.
It's exactly like telling me the sky is blue.
NO, wait. It's not. I am not told three times a week that the sky is blue. But if I was told three times a week the sky is blue - then it would be exactly the same.

Most people follow up the tall statement with the next obvious question:"Do you play basketball?"
And no, I don't. I play volleyball and I do happen to love it. But that isn't the point. I'm not pissed or bitching or whining - It's just a "been there, done that" kind of thing. Ho hum.

The point is, all this time I answer honestly. I always answer questions honestly. It's almost like a weird curse. You can try it sometime. Whatever you ask, I just have a thing about being honest. I don't mind answering questions. I don't know. I like people being curious I guess. Anyway, I could just be making shit up. All this time I could have been having more fun!

I could tell people it's against my religion to play sports, or that my dad is Kareem Abdul Jabbar. If I'm lying - make it big! Right? Or, I could say it's because I drank milk as a kid - and lecture them about the dangers of hormones in cows.
Or, claim I was abducted by aliens and they did this to me!
Oh the twisted tales I could tell!