Monday, August 10, 2009

Voice Control

Hi Kiddies,
I'm sorry I haven't written. I've been outside playing. I love me some SUMMER. Maybe when the weather is grey and ass-like I will write more often, eh?

So, anyway I got me one of those iPhones for my birthday and just like almost everyone else with an iPhone, I love it. I am one of those people that is constantly making out with their phone. It has new toys and tricks and fancy widgets and gadgets and pings that the old phone could only cry itself to sleep wishing it could do.

Well, I'm driving along and I get this idea that I want to listen to music, crazy right? I remember the phone has voice control so I decide to give it a whirl, I hold the home button for two seconds, voice control pops up. I yell at the phone "Play, Kelly Clarkson!"

Yeah, so I listen to Kelly Clarkson, don't judge me. Suck it.

The phone pings, and promptly says "Playing songs by Train" and begins to play "Meet Virginia."

Um, no iPhone, that isn't what I wanted!

I repeat the actions, and speak louder, "PLAY, KELLY CLARKSON!"

The phone pings, and then promptly says, "Playing album Elephant" and begins to play "Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes."

Grr. No iPhone, that isn't even close!! What are you doing?? I scream at the phone, "PLAY, MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU"
The phone pings, and then begins to call my eye doctor.

Augh, phone! That is not it! I focus on the road, cancel the call, hit the home button and try again. I try speaking quieter, maybe it doesn't like to be yelled at. "Play, my life would suck without you."

The phone pings, and then says, "Playing songs by Britney Spears" and begins to play "Circus."

For crap sakes iPhone what is your problem? What part of Kelly Clarkson, or My Life Would Suck Without You, makes you think Elephant, Eye Doctor, Britney Spears and Train????

This, my dear friends is what causes car accidents. I find the damn song on my own by poking through the menu and began rocking out to my fun Kelly C. Dear Apple, Voice Control needs some work.

Thank you very much.


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