Sunday, August 26, 2007

This one time, I was in New York City and ended up at a gay club

Current mood: dirty

Oh yeah, that was today! We (me, Joe and her friend Nicole) started out the night searching for this place that supposedly had free drinks. That did not pan out, the place we found was some club with a velvet rope, a man at the door and a woman with a list. Not our kind of place. So, then we met up with other people's friends Becky and Katie and went to this other club, that was sort of a cave really, and smelled of marijuana and lots of money. It cost me seven dollars just to get a Corona and the cocktail drinks were more.
We ended up moving on from there, and parted with Becky and Katie and met up with this girl Sara, and her roommate Dave. From here, we go to Sara's place and get a headstart on some drinking - because drinking in a club is expensive!
This is apparerntly how nights go in NYC, you pre-drink then go from place, to place to place. From Sara's apartment around 52nd street we then go to this club called "The Ritz" and I don't even know where it is. We go in and I'm looking around and I come to the obvious conclusion that it is a gay club. New for me, but no big deal, pretty men, and it's crowded. I'm always up for anything once. The drinks are tiny and $8 but it's okay - I don't need any because I'm already pretty buzzed from the apartment pit-stop. After a while standing upstairs, my brother drags me and Nicole downstairs, come on!
I see this drag queen dancing in the back on some stairs and in this basement room it is PACKED. It is a total sausage fest, so we just jump in and start dancing. They're playing "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse and the room is just fucking hopping. It's crowded and dirty and dark and loud and god damn fun. I got dudes pointing at me and singing along and shaking their stuff. and I'm thinking, fuck yeah, I'm in!
So we just get into it, me, Joe & Nicole - all shaking our stuff and wiggling and dancing. It gets hotter and sweatier and the music gets louder and it gets later - all the while we are dancing and grooving and drinking and moving. It is actually - seriously - the best time I have ever had in a club. I'm usually not much of a club girl. I have dudes rubbing on me from all sides and you know what? Mostly because it's crowded. I'm not creeped out at all. I'm having a fucking blast. Because you know why? They aren't trying to bang their junk on me like dudes do at straight clubs. In straight clubs you have to wonder, why are they banging on you? What do they want? Is this creepy? Do they want this to go somewhere? What is the agenda here? The gay guys are just looking to jiggle a bit, flirt with some dudes and have fun. I actually realized that in this packed dance floor - Nicole and I are the only girls, but it really doesn't seem to matter all that much, everybody is being very friendly. Sure, it's a little bit weird seeing dudes rub on other dudes and here and there make out with other dudes, but it's all in good fun so I don't worry about that. Mostly just enjoy the company of all the queens and the sweaty dirty dancing of it all.
I must admit it was a tad uncomfortable going to the bathroom, because there isn't exactly a "ladies room" in a gay mens club - so I go in there and there's one stall (occupied) and a trough. I'm waiting for the stall and meanwhile there's guys walking in - going to the trough and I'm finding something else to look at... the ceiling in the opposite direction... look up and over somewhere else... new experience being in a bathroom while dudes are stepping up to the trough. Oh well, all for the sake of new experiences, right? I'm a bit more deaf than I was earlier today because the music was loud but I really had a fucking fantastic time. We didn't leave til well after 3am, and that's really late for me.
At one point, I even had a guy walk up to me, pet my head and say very tenderly, "I love your hair" and then he walked away.
There's something nice about getting a compliment like that. Even if he was drunk.
I got beer or something spilled on my feet a few times and ended up with dirt marks head to toe- not exactly sure how, but overall definitely a fan of the gay clubs. And you know what? In general, gay dudes smell better than straight dudes do. I don't know if they have to try harder, or if they're just a little metrosexual but that sweaty room smelled tasty. I like me some guilt free dirrty dirrty sweaty gay dancing. So it's 5am now and I should sleep. But I just had to share. Enjoy.

PS. If you're a straight dude looking to rub on some chicks, go to a gay club. You'll have to thwart the advances from men, but the chicks will be all over you. You can't be too forward, or they'll know you're not gay.

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