Current mood: worried
Do you know what the temperature is supposed to be today? Guess. Don't look.
Eighty one degrees.
Seriously.
Eighty one.
I can wear shorts.
It is FALL.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I love it. You have no idea how much I love the weather we've been having.
It has been a beautiful summer, and has been a freakishly warm fall. It's been too warm for weeks. I love it.
But I do have to say it creeps me the fuck out.
And what's funny about this is that people have it in their brains that it should be cooling off. When they get dressed to go out they put on jackets, or sweatshirts. Everybody is dressing like it's fall outside. It's damn near 80 degrees and people are bundled up like it's 50. Just plain odd.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Mars is in Retrograde
Current mood: aggravated
This month is just stupid.
With the exception of a few shining bright moments, all the bizarre, horrible, ridiculous events of the month have left me irritated, upset, lost, dumfounded, pissed at myself, and stewing. This is just stupid. It shouldn't be this hard. I'd like to pass on October. I mean, really, what the hell?
November, please?
October isn't being kind to me. I'm done now. Next. Month. Please.
I've been whining to my co-worker Shelly for the last ten minutes about the stupidity of this month. She said, "You know, I've already explained to you why this month sucks. Mars is in retrograde."
Fuck you, Mars.
PS. Ben Stiller is in a new movie called Heartbreak Kid, and while the movie will suck, Ben Stiller has a new hairdo. Because Ben Stiller now knows what George Clooney (and Jon Stewart, etc etc) have known all along. Salt & Pepper hair is hot. And Ben wants ladies like George gets ladies. It's no new phenomenon.
This month is just stupid.
With the exception of a few shining bright moments, all the bizarre, horrible, ridiculous events of the month have left me irritated, upset, lost, dumfounded, pissed at myself, and stewing. This is just stupid. It shouldn't be this hard. I'd like to pass on October. I mean, really, what the hell?
November, please?
October isn't being kind to me. I'm done now. Next. Month. Please.
I've been whining to my co-worker Shelly for the last ten minutes about the stupidity of this month. She said, "You know, I've already explained to you why this month sucks. Mars is in retrograde."
Fuck you, Mars.
PS. Ben Stiller is in a new movie called Heartbreak Kid, and while the movie will suck, Ben Stiller has a new hairdo. Because Ben Stiller now knows what George Clooney (and Jon Stewart, etc etc) have known all along. Salt & Pepper hair is hot. And Ben wants ladies like George gets ladies. It's no new phenomenon.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Kids are just precious...
Current mood: amused
So, last night we go out to my friend Heather's sister's house.
Heather and her husband Tony moved to Tennessee and they were in town
but at her sister's house in Tecumseh. So we go out there to see them.
Her sister, Brooke, is pretty cool, her parents like us, our friends Kate & Justin
are there, so its an all around good time.
Brooke's kid Autumn is three and she wants to be the center of attention
tonight. Which is fine because she's in a great mood and only wants to play.
So we all do what adults do, drag her around the floor, hang her upside down,
tickle her, etc etc and she eats it up and is loving it and it's lots of fun for everybody. We're all having a good time.
So she's everybody's buddy and climbing into laps and being a monkey and
everytime you do anything, she's all "Do that again!!"
And here's the best part. At one point in the night, she climbed up into my lap full of wiggles and sweetness and turned to me and, in the most innocent voice that only a 3-year-old could possess, she said,
"I just farted on your leg."
Oh, I can't wait until I get one of my own!
So, last night we go out to my friend Heather's sister's house.
Heather and her husband Tony moved to Tennessee and they were in town
but at her sister's house in Tecumseh. So we go out there to see them.
Her sister, Brooke, is pretty cool, her parents like us, our friends Kate & Justin
are there, so its an all around good time.
Brooke's kid Autumn is three and she wants to be the center of attention
tonight. Which is fine because she's in a great mood and only wants to play.
So we all do what adults do, drag her around the floor, hang her upside down,
tickle her, etc etc and she eats it up and is loving it and it's lots of fun for everybody. We're all having a good time.
So she's everybody's buddy and climbing into laps and being a monkey and
everytime you do anything, she's all "Do that again!!"
And here's the best part. At one point in the night, she climbed up into my lap full of wiggles and sweetness and turned to me and, in the most innocent voice that only a 3-year-old could possess, she said,
"I just farted on your leg."
Oh, I can't wait until I get one of my own!
Friday, October 12, 2007
New York State of Mind
Current mood: amused
So, I am to fly to NYC today for meeting stuff. Work stuff. I get to the airport and I wait. 10:06 am flight. Time passes. I wait.
30 minute delay, 1 hour delay, 1.5 hour delay. Move to another gate. 2 hour delay. Move to another gate. 2.5 hour delay.
Three. Hour. Delay.
Aaauauagh.
I watch a vaguely handsome somewhat foreign guy brood out the window. He needs a haircut. I take his picture. I imagine vaguely handsome foreign guy sitting next to me on the plane while we have witty banter and talk about the world. We'd be fabulous in our little metal tube, talking about the little people, the what do you do's and the ways of the world.
I get on the plane and sit in front of the amish couple and their horrible baby. Yes, of course that's the kind of luck I have. Vaguely handsome foreign guy is in business class. Probably talking to some fabulous woman about the little people, the haves and the have nots.
I get to JFK and get into the taxi of the only cab driver in New York who is actually from New York. He's from Queens.
"Where you from?" says Queens cabbie.
Michigan, I say.
Oh yeah? How's it in Michigan?
Fine. Hot, rainy, cold, whatever. We go on with the small talk for a minute or two.
I see, says Queens cabbie. What you in New York for?
I explain how my boss lives here and I have work to do. He says, "What? you not gonna go out and have a little fun? Meet some guys?"
No, I say. I'm married.
So? He says.
Yeah, I say. I don't do that. While I'm married I play by the rules.
Oh yeah? He says. My friends don't do that, they go out, they have their "fun" they come home. Nobody knows. You do what chu gotta do.
I think to myself of Tony Soprano, how he would go out and have his fun and then return home to his wife. I express my better judgment and don't bring up Tony Soprano, after all, cabbie is from Queens and Tony Soprano was from Jersey.
You know what you need to do? He says to me. You need to get laid. You gotta go out and get you a guy or a girl or whatever works for you. Get spanked and tied up, some candle wax dripped on your ass or somethin.'
I laugh at Queens cabbie.
Yeah he says, you go out wit me, let Pete pick you up and take you out, show you a good time, you need to get laid.
The back of his neck resembles a package of hot dogs. I would certainly not go out with Pete. Single or not.
Noooo, I say. Not that kind of girl.
I spend the next hour of the longest cab ride of my laugh alternately laughing at Queens cabbie and denying his persistent requests to go out.
"How long you been with your guy?" he asks.
Nine years, I say.
Nine years!! Woah, I'm never gettin married. Gotta try em all. C'mon. You got the perfect job, you can have a guy here, a girl there. Go out wit me.
Ha ha, Queens cabbie. No. Not today, not ever, though it was flattering of you to persistenly ask. Good night!
So, I am to fly to NYC today for meeting stuff. Work stuff. I get to the airport and I wait. 10:06 am flight. Time passes. I wait.
30 minute delay, 1 hour delay, 1.5 hour delay. Move to another gate. 2 hour delay. Move to another gate. 2.5 hour delay.
Three. Hour. Delay.
Aaauauagh.
I watch a vaguely handsome somewhat foreign guy brood out the window. He needs a haircut. I take his picture. I imagine vaguely handsome foreign guy sitting next to me on the plane while we have witty banter and talk about the world. We'd be fabulous in our little metal tube, talking about the little people, the what do you do's and the ways of the world.
I get on the plane and sit in front of the amish couple and their horrible baby. Yes, of course that's the kind of luck I have. Vaguely handsome foreign guy is in business class. Probably talking to some fabulous woman about the little people, the haves and the have nots.
I get to JFK and get into the taxi of the only cab driver in New York who is actually from New York. He's from Queens.
"Where you from?" says Queens cabbie.
Michigan, I say.
Oh yeah? How's it in Michigan?
Fine. Hot, rainy, cold, whatever. We go on with the small talk for a minute or two.
I see, says Queens cabbie. What you in New York for?
I explain how my boss lives here and I have work to do. He says, "What? you not gonna go out and have a little fun? Meet some guys?"
No, I say. I'm married.
So? He says.
Yeah, I say. I don't do that. While I'm married I play by the rules.
Oh yeah? He says. My friends don't do that, they go out, they have their "fun" they come home. Nobody knows. You do what chu gotta do.
I think to myself of Tony Soprano, how he would go out and have his fun and then return home to his wife. I express my better judgment and don't bring up Tony Soprano, after all, cabbie is from Queens and Tony Soprano was from Jersey.
You know what you need to do? He says to me. You need to get laid. You gotta go out and get you a guy or a girl or whatever works for you. Get spanked and tied up, some candle wax dripped on your ass or somethin.'
I laugh at Queens cabbie.
Yeah he says, you go out wit me, let Pete pick you up and take you out, show you a good time, you need to get laid.
The back of his neck resembles a package of hot dogs. I would certainly not go out with Pete. Single or not.
Noooo, I say. Not that kind of girl.
I spend the next hour of the longest cab ride of my laugh alternately laughing at Queens cabbie and denying his persistent requests to go out.
"How long you been with your guy?" he asks.
Nine years, I say.
Nine years!! Woah, I'm never gettin married. Gotta try em all. C'mon. You got the perfect job, you can have a guy here, a girl there. Go out wit me.
Ha ha, Queens cabbie. No. Not today, not ever, though it was flattering of you to persistenly ask. Good night!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Pop quiz hot shot
Current mood: cold
1) Some random guy comes up to you and says "Hey, what's your name?" You say?
"Uhhhh, why?"
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Wouldn't you like to know? It was minty...
3) What does your last text message say?
Something from Joe about him seeing rent on broadway and meeting the cast.
4) The last song you listened to?
Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie. Popped up on the iPod on the way to work today.
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
I would never be put in charge of a funeral of someone I hate. Though this is a hypothetical, so hypothetically I would do the right thing and play something nice. It's a funeral, not my chance to be an asshole.
6) Where is your best friend right now?
At work.
7) What did you do yesterday?
Worked, rode my bike, co-coached my A2 Red & Ed Volleyball team, watched House & Boston Legal and slept.
8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
I have this scar on my chin from getting pushed off my picnic table by this kid when I was three. His brother pushed me off again around the same time and I broke my arm. Didn't learn my lesson about the picnic table, apparently.
9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
I never hated teachers.
12.) What do you really think happened to steve on blues clues?
I don't know who that is.
14.) Who is your most religious friend?
Agnostics don't tend to have lots of religious friends. I think my cousin Jennifer might be. She goes to church.
15) Who do you trust with your life?
Apparently lots of people. If I get in your car, I'm trusting you with my life.
16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. No, really, I would not change my name.
17) What would you say if someone told you you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up next to you every morning?
It takes me a long time to trust people being nice to me. I'd say "Who are you and what do you want from me?" And I'd be very suspicious.
18) What do you hate about your job?
I'm lonely.
19) How often do you curse?
When I talk.
20) Do you trust all of your friends?
All of them except you. You know who you are.
21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Probably
22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
Yes. Ha!
23) Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Cheating & getting beaten up I guess. How far do you really have to be pushed?
24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Well, I think my friend Mark would. He's a man whore.
25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
No
26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Yes.
27) Fill in the blank. I love_____
indian food and pineapple and sitting outside in the sweet sunshine!
28) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
I want... I don't know what I want. Oh, I want to pay off my car!
29) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
You.
30) How many kids do you want to have?
None right now. Thanks.
31) Would you make a good parent?
I don't know.
32) Where was your default picture taken?
in my bathroom
33) What is your middle name?
Ann
34) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Mmm, that thai food was good.
36) Righty or Lefty?
Righty
37) Who knows you the best?
My very small circle, you know who you are.
38) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
contacts unless it's late
39) When is the last time you liked someone?
Right now.
40) Last person to lay in your bed?
Me! I'm soooo lazy in the morning.
41) What are your plans for the weekend?
New York City, then party to see my friend Heather & Tony in town Sat nite from TN, then wedding reception/party on Sunday.
42) Who do you think will repost this?
Someone who is boreeeedddd
43) Are you happy right now?
I'm okay.
44) Are you a forgiving person?
Depends on what you've done to me.
45) Have you lost a friend recently?
No. I'm finding them instead.
46) What are you about to do right now?
more work. break is over.
1) Some random guy comes up to you and says "Hey, what's your name?" You say?
"Uhhhh, why?"
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Wouldn't you like to know? It was minty...
3) What does your last text message say?
Something from Joe about him seeing rent on broadway and meeting the cast.
4) The last song you listened to?
Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie. Popped up on the iPod on the way to work today.
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
I would never be put in charge of a funeral of someone I hate. Though this is a hypothetical, so hypothetically I would do the right thing and play something nice. It's a funeral, not my chance to be an asshole.
6) Where is your best friend right now?
At work.
7) What did you do yesterday?
Worked, rode my bike, co-coached my A2 Red & Ed Volleyball team, watched House & Boston Legal and slept.
8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
I have this scar on my chin from getting pushed off my picnic table by this kid when I was three. His brother pushed me off again around the same time and I broke my arm. Didn't learn my lesson about the picnic table, apparently.
9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
I never hated teachers.
12.) What do you really think happened to steve on blues clues?
I don't know who that is.
14.) Who is your most religious friend?
Agnostics don't tend to have lots of religious friends. I think my cousin Jennifer might be. She goes to church.
15) Who do you trust with your life?
Apparently lots of people. If I get in your car, I'm trusting you with my life.
16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. No, really, I would not change my name.
17) What would you say if someone told you you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up next to you every morning?
It takes me a long time to trust people being nice to me. I'd say "Who are you and what do you want from me?" And I'd be very suspicious.
18) What do you hate about your job?
I'm lonely.
19) How often do you curse?
When I talk.
20) Do you trust all of your friends?
All of them except you. You know who you are.
21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Probably
22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
Yes. Ha!
23) Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Cheating & getting beaten up I guess. How far do you really have to be pushed?
24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Well, I think my friend Mark would. He's a man whore.
25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
No
26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Yes.
27) Fill in the blank. I love_____
indian food and pineapple and sitting outside in the sweet sunshine!
28) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
I want... I don't know what I want. Oh, I want to pay off my car!
29) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
You.
30) How many kids do you want to have?
None right now. Thanks.
31) Would you make a good parent?
I don't know.
32) Where was your default picture taken?
in my bathroom
33) What is your middle name?
Ann
34) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Mmm, that thai food was good.
36) Righty or Lefty?
Righty
37) Who knows you the best?
My very small circle, you know who you are.
38) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
contacts unless it's late
39) When is the last time you liked someone?
Right now.
40) Last person to lay in your bed?
Me! I'm soooo lazy in the morning.
41) What are your plans for the weekend?
New York City, then party to see my friend Heather & Tony in town Sat nite from TN, then wedding reception/party on Sunday.
42) Who do you think will repost this?
Someone who is boreeeedddd
43) Are you happy right now?
I'm okay.
44) Are you a forgiving person?
Depends on what you've done to me.
45) Have you lost a friend recently?
No. I'm finding them instead.
46) What are you about to do right now?
more work. break is over.
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