This is a story about why I called a lady a stupid bitch in a parking lot at the top of my lungs, enjoy.
So, last week I decided to go out for lunch, and I went to this noodle place in Arborland mall which is by Starbucks, and in that area, there is like... NO parking and everyone is a psychobitch. So, I'm like at the end of the lot and there's no spots and I have two people in line behind me also waiting for spots. I see a spot to the left of me, and go to claim it with my blinker, and I see that person behind me has already "claimed" it. Not quite fair, I was here first. Then person number three - in the biggest, ugliest truck ever - pulls in front of me to take a spot opening up at the end. I think to myself, fuck this shit, I'll go park somewhere else. I try to drive around bitch with big ugly truck - and this ass stain thinks I'm trying to steal the parking spot, which she really stole from me, and pulls up to block me in. I open my window to explain to her I'm trying to get around her to leave, but I can't even see in her window, right next to me, cause her stupid truck is so big and ugly. So, I try to pull up again, and she cuts me off. I now can go nowhere forward or backward and I'm yelling at her that I just want to go around! So dumb ugly monster bitch takes "her" parking spot and I finally get a chance to turn around and leave, and as she gets out of her planet-hating dumpster truck and as I pull away, I scream at her "I was just trying to leave, you stupid bitch!!!" Chicken bitch doesn't even look at me.
Fuck you starbucks bitches.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I don't care if the movie is subtitled, shut the hell up!
Current mood: irate
Oh my god, I am the movie theater nazi. This drives me absofriggin nuts. When you are in the movie theater - shut up. I just went to see "Letters from Iwo Jima" and this dude two seats to the right of me is talking out loud. Not whispering, not even trying to be quiet, he's just talking. I had to shush him twice! Grr. And, oh the best part, halfway through the movie this ass took his shoes off and his feet fucking stank. Put your shoes on and shut up nasty man, this is not your living room!
Special note to those who bring young children (can't walk yet) into R rated movies.. WE ALL HATE YOU. When you walk in the room with your baby, we all hate you, when you stand in the aisle with your crying baby, you may still be able to see the movie, but we can still hear your crying baby and we all hate you. If you can afford $18 to take you and the wifey-poo to a movie, then you can afford a babysitter. I don't have children yet. I like to go to the movie theater. You had kids, you give that up, sorry!
But OH MY GOD. Stop talking. Stop it!
Oh my god, I am the movie theater nazi. This drives me absofriggin nuts. When you are in the movie theater - shut up. I just went to see "Letters from Iwo Jima" and this dude two seats to the right of me is talking out loud. Not whispering, not even trying to be quiet, he's just talking. I had to shush him twice! Grr. And, oh the best part, halfway through the movie this ass took his shoes off and his feet fucking stank. Put your shoes on and shut up nasty man, this is not your living room!
Special note to those who bring young children (can't walk yet) into R rated movies.. WE ALL HATE YOU. When you walk in the room with your baby, we all hate you, when you stand in the aisle with your crying baby, you may still be able to see the movie, but we can still hear your crying baby and we all hate you. If you can afford $18 to take you and the wifey-poo to a movie, then you can afford a babysitter. I don't have children yet. I like to go to the movie theater. You had kids, you give that up, sorry!
But OH MY GOD. Stop talking. Stop it!
Friday, January 19, 2007
I remember my grandpa...
Current mood: numb
He died this past March but I keep thinking about the little things. I remember his laugh, the way he'd lean back and squint his eyes and shake while he chuckled. I remember the white t-shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots he always wore. His rough hands, worn from years in the garden. His dark, thick hair. How he'd sit at the end of the kitchen table and peel a potato or apple with the knife he always kept in his pocket. The mornings when we visited the little house in Tennessee the family would sit and have coffee, he always drank his coffee black. The days he's spend tending his garden with his dog at his side. The nights when we'd all sit at the table and play cards and eat saltines with peanut butter. The workshop in back of the house (that was always locked) with the swing and the table and all the things he made. His rough, gravely voice and the way he'd say "yun't to?" and "gitonouttahere." How he had no fear and we'd watch him kill snakes for us as kids so we could play outside safely. His black truck, and the creek that runs by the house and the days he'd zip around in his 4-wheeler or the lawn mower. The smell and the feel of his house when he was in it. The day he let Damon drive his car. The birdhouse he made for me because my mother bought presents for everyone and forgot about me. The deep hole he made in the creek when we were kids so we could go swimming on those hot summer days.
The last time I came down to see him, he still remembered me. The night he died I had just fallen asleep on the couch across from him. There were ninteen people in the house that night, and only three stayed up. He waited for it to be quiet. I like to remember healthy grandpa. I miss my grandpa.
He died this past March but I keep thinking about the little things. I remember his laugh, the way he'd lean back and squint his eyes and shake while he chuckled. I remember the white t-shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots he always wore. His rough hands, worn from years in the garden. His dark, thick hair. How he'd sit at the end of the kitchen table and peel a potato or apple with the knife he always kept in his pocket. The mornings when we visited the little house in Tennessee the family would sit and have coffee, he always drank his coffee black. The days he's spend tending his garden with his dog at his side. The nights when we'd all sit at the table and play cards and eat saltines with peanut butter. The workshop in back of the house (that was always locked) with the swing and the table and all the things he made. His rough, gravely voice and the way he'd say "yun't to?" and "gitonouttahere." How he had no fear and we'd watch him kill snakes for us as kids so we could play outside safely. His black truck, and the creek that runs by the house and the days he'd zip around in his 4-wheeler or the lawn mower. The smell and the feel of his house when he was in it. The day he let Damon drive his car. The birdhouse he made for me because my mother bought presents for everyone and forgot about me. The deep hole he made in the creek when we were kids so we could go swimming on those hot summer days.
The last time I came down to see him, he still remembered me. The night he died I had just fallen asleep on the couch across from him. There were ninteen people in the house that night, and only three stayed up. He waited for it to be quiet. I like to remember healthy grandpa. I miss my grandpa.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Sayings I love...
I see things and hear things that I just think are great and need to write them down so I don't forget.
Most of my favorites are from Jami-Love. Including:
"Crazy ha-ha or crazy uh-oh"
"You smell like baby unicorns and dreams"
and the best, "All I hear you saying is blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
And then joe joe, with "I'm totally mostly joking!"
That's all I can think of right now, I have to go play super nintendo now. Goodnight.
Most of my favorites are from Jami-Love. Including:
"Crazy ha-ha or crazy uh-oh"
"You smell like baby unicorns and dreams"
and the best, "All I hear you saying is blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
And then joe joe, with "I'm totally mostly joking!"
That's all I can think of right now, I have to go play super nintendo now. Goodnight.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I've been tagged - Thanks Emily
Current mood: curious
I have been tagged. I've never been tagged before... but since Miss Emily tagged me and I love her, I'll tell you 6 weird things about myself, because I'm supposed to.
1. I refuse to put blinds up in my kitchen, but I am afraid of the windows in my house when it's dark. You don't know whats out there, and when I look in the window at night I'm afraid something will appear on the other side.
2. I am afraid of people in furry costumes. Not run-away scared but they are certainly not allowed to touch me...Ever. You can't see their face, you don't know who's in there!
3. I really hate cold pasta. I won't eat macaroni salad or spaghetti salad or whatever kind of cold pasta you present. If people say, oh, try the pasta, I'll put it on my plate but then later secretly throw it away...It's nasty.
4. I think there is some kind of celery conspiracy and I won't have it. There are several foods which inexplicably have celery in them, and I hate it and won't eat it. Don't put..celery in my chili, don't put it in my chinese food, and certainly do not put it in any of my soups!..No thank you.
5. I won't drink milk after the expiration date. Even if it smells fine and looks fine, I will believe it has bad enzymes in it and have to throw it out.
6. I have sample sizes of everything. Shampoos, lotions, toothpaste, floss, soap, etc etc. and won't ever throw any out. I have this collection of 40 something sample sized toiletries in my bathroom cabinet. And I always look for more when I'm at the store. But to be fair, I do use them. And then buy more...
Bonus! -- I eat salad like people eat french fries, I dip the lettuce in the dressing. Yum.
And I tag these bitches, Jennifer, Fulka, Dave, Jami.Love and Shaffer
I have been tagged. I've never been tagged before... but since Miss Emily tagged me and I love her, I'll tell you 6 weird things about myself, because I'm supposed to.
1. I refuse to put blinds up in my kitchen, but I am afraid of the windows in my house when it's dark. You don't know whats out there, and when I look in the window at night I'm afraid something will appear on the other side.
2. I am afraid of people in furry costumes. Not run-away scared but they are certainly not allowed to touch me...Ever. You can't see their face, you don't know who's in there!
3. I really hate cold pasta. I won't eat macaroni salad or spaghetti salad or whatever kind of cold pasta you present. If people say, oh, try the pasta, I'll put it on my plate but then later secretly throw it away...It's nasty.
4. I think there is some kind of celery conspiracy and I won't have it. There are several foods which inexplicably have celery in them, and I hate it and won't eat it. Don't put..celery in my chili, don't put it in my chinese food, and certainly do not put it in any of my soups!..No thank you.
5. I won't drink milk after the expiration date. Even if it smells fine and looks fine, I will believe it has bad enzymes in it and have to throw it out.
6. I have sample sizes of everything. Shampoos, lotions, toothpaste, floss, soap, etc etc. and won't ever throw any out. I have this collection of 40 something sample sized toiletries in my bathroom cabinet. And I always look for more when I'm at the store. But to be fair, I do use them. And then buy more...
Bonus! -- I eat salad like people eat french fries, I dip the lettuce in the dressing. Yum.
And I tag these bitches, Jennifer, Fulka, Dave, Jami.Love and Shaffer
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